Summary:
WARNING! This week’s episode is about a rare moment in my life where I hit rock bottom and got stuck in a women’s restroom. Oddly enough, it contains a very important lesson that you just might need to hear right now…
Blog:
For today’s post, I wanted to do something DIFFERENT…
I want to share a VERY personal story with you, and I think you might be able to relate to it. Especially if you’ve ever felt STUCK, trapped, or embarrassed in life.
(Heads up - this story involves me getting stuck in a girls’ bathroom. Reader discretion is advised if you are somehow offended by a funny story with an important life lesson.)
So there I was … 19 years old, going to college fulltime.
And why was I going to college?
Well …like a lot of people, I thought that going to college was my only option.
I graduated high school and bought into the MYTH (yes, I said it) that going to college was the smartest thing I could do.
So my plan was…
Go to college => get a degree => get a nice-paying job => MAYBE go after my dreams later.
Sound familiar? ;)
So even though I’ve been playing drums since I was 13 …and even though my real passion and dream was to become a professional musician…
That “pipe-dream” just seemed too unrealistic at the time. SO, like a lot of people, I kinda pushed my dreams to the wayside and started going to college full-time.
Here’s what that looked like:
I would wake up, commute to school, take all the classes, go to work, come home and go to sleep. The next day? Same thing. The next day after that? Same thing.
(BTW - let me know if you’ve been there before. I can’t be the only one.)
And after a couples months of this, I felt MISERABLE. I was spinning my wheels every single day, and wasn’t getting any closer to what I truly wanted to do. What I truly felt called to do, ever since I was like 14 years old, was to tour the world in a rock band. And as you can imagine, college was not getting me even a little bit closer to what I wanted to do.
Then one day, I hit rock bottom.
I was driving home from school (depressed) and wasn’t quite sure how much longer I was going to be able to keep doing this. I felt stuck. I felt “caged-in” from the life I wanted to live. And worse yet, I felt like there was no way out.
So what did I do next?
I went to the mall.
(Sounds lame, I know. But this is where it gets good).
My grandparents used to take my siblings and me to the mall all the time when we were younger. So I guess I thought those anchored memories and emotions would make me feel better and lift my spirits.
WRONG.
As it turns out, watching a bunch of zombie-like people buy clothes and ice cream just doesn’t have the same effect on a depressed adult that it does on a child. Weird. So after 87 attempts at trying to put a smile on my face, I decided to leave.
And that’s when it happened…
I went to use the restroom before aborting my “walking-around-the-mall-should-make-me-happy” mission - and I’ll never forget what happened next:
I was in the stall for about a minute. Then, out of nowhere, I started hearing women’s voices coming from all over the place.
And as that’s happening, I’m stupidly thinking…
“Why are there women’s voices in the men’s restroom? Are they having a meeting in the bathroom or something? Don’t they have their own restroom for these types of meetings?”
And after another five seconds of pondering these questions (which was five seconds longer than it should’ve taken) everything finally just “clicked” for me.
They weren’t in the wrong bathroom. I was.
So to top off an already horrible day, I ended up going into the wrong bathroom for who-knows-why. Must’ve had my head down so much that I couldn’t see the signs on the door.
“Maybe that was the lesson here,” I thought. “Keep your head up.”
However, that was far from the real lesson I was about to discover.
SIDE NOTE: Once you realize you’re in the wrong bathroom, there’s really nothing you can say on your way out to recover from that. I didn’t feel like waiting 30 minutes for their meeting to be adjourned, so I just got up and left. These girls glared at me, and I glared back. I desperately tried to think of something funny or clever to say, but couldn’t. Just made eye-contact and walked on by. Not sure who these girls were …but I’m pretty sure the sight of a random guy coming out a stall and saying nothing was an image that still haunts them to this day.
Anyways… back to the story…
After that little incident, I decided to just go home and crawl into bed.
Now, how pathetic is this?
It was 4:30 PM and I’m crawling into bed. Who does that? Me. I do that. And even though I’m normally an extremely upbeat and happy-go-lucky guy, I felt stuck in a rut on this day. And as I’m laying there in bed like a deflated balloon, I couldn’t help but think…
“There is no way out. There is nothing I can do about my life right now. I feel stuck. I feel miserable. I’m not doing what I really want to do, but I don’t have a choice.”
You know …THOSE thoughts. The really fun and pleasant ones.
So, with nowhere else to turn, I started praying:
“God, if you’re out there, give me a sign here. I really want to be a musician, but it doesn’t look like that is happening right now. Please get me out of this. Oh, and please help those women sleep tonight after seeing a disheveled 19-year-old boy walk out of the stall and staring them directly in the eyes while saying nothing. Amen.”
And what happened next blows my mind. Even till this day.
After lying in bed for about 30 minutes, I got back up and checked Facebook. And in my inbox was a message from this random guy (who I’d never met before) recruiting me to join a new band. This guy had some connections in the industry, and had plans to tour the country with reputable artists that I grew up listening to. All he needed was a drummer.
BOOM!
Six months later, I dropped out of college (sorry Grandma J) and found myself waking up in a tour bus everyday. I was playing drums in just about every major city across the country, and living the dream. I was touring in a rock band and traveling everywhere from Nashville, to Texas, Hollywood, Seattle and various other places of the country I didn’t even know exists.
And while I was on tour, I met ANOTHER random stranger who just happened to come up to us after a show in Portland. He also just so happens to be the singer for Gold By Fire right now.
See how this works?
I went from being hopelessly stuck in a women’s restroom…
To touring the country in a rock band => meeting a stranger in Portland => starting a NEW band with that stranger => learning how to write songs with my friends who are all better musicians than me => playing with Trapt and Puddle of Mudd in our first 5 shows as a band => reading messages (almost daily) from people about how our music is impacting their lives.
And without the lessons learned at each step, you wouldn’t be reading this right now.
Here’s why this story is important to YOU:
The reason why I share this story is because I know there are a lot of people out there who feel stuck. Many people feel like they’re on this “hamster-wheel” of life and that you can’t get off.
Maybe you feel stuck in a job that isn’t bringing you any fulfillment.
Maybe you feel stuck in school that is sucking out thousands of hours of your life for a degree that doesn’t get you any closer to what you REALLY want to do.
Maybe you feel stuck in a relationship that doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
Whatever your situation is today, I want to you to try looking at your life from a brand new perspective today. Instead of focusing on all of the terrible things that are going on right now, or the major gap between where you are today and the life you want to live…
Try THIS Instead:
Start looking at your life as a series of stepping-stones.
(I hereby deem this the “Stepping Stone Philosophy” that cures stress and anxiety faster than any combination of prescription drugs being peddled by people who care more about your money than your actual health).
Here’s how this works:
Realize that where you are right now is NOT where you’re going to be in the future. AND – the situation you are in right now is going to prepare you for the next season in your life.
You have to realize that there is a reason for where you are right now. There’s a reason for your current job. There’s a reason for your current level of education. There’s a reason for where you are in your relationships. There’s a reason why you decided to sit down and read the best blog written ever written by your favorite songwriting, stick-waiving, spikey-haired drummer.
It’s to make you better. It’s to teach you. It’s to make you stronger.
And I know I harp on this concept a lot (especially because it’s kinda the overall theme of Gold By Fire) but I think more people could honestly benefit from looking at life like a series of stepping stones. And with each step you take, more and more opportunities will start to open up in some of the most miraculous ways possible.
Sounds cheesy, but you really just have to believe. And as it’s been said from one of THE wisest beings to have ever walked the Earth…
“Everything is possible for one who believes” – Jesus.
Want another entertaining analogy to drive this point home?
Ok, since you asked…
Imagine your life is like a Super Mario Bros video game.
If you’ve ever played a Super Mario Bros video game before, then you know that the first level is pretty easy to beat. All you have to do is jump on a couple mushrooms, avoid maybe three or four evil turtles, jump over the dragon’s head, and then move onto the next level.
But as you keep advancing to the next level …what happens?
Each level gets harder and harder. There are more distractions; more evil turtles trying to mess up your day. And as you progress, the challenges you face get more difficult and complex.
And as ridiculous as it may sound, that is EXACTLY how life is.
As you continue to advance to the proverbial “next level” in your life, you’ll notice that each level gets harder. There are more demands on your time. There are more responsibilities. There are more evil turtle dudes who show up in your life and try to ruin your day. They may even throw some boomerangs at you for fun. Kinda sadistic if you ask me.
How do you prepare for this?
Well, there’s not much you can do about boomerang-throwing turtles. If you actually see those guys in your life than I would highly recommend finding some new friends.
But aside from that…
You can prepare yourself for that next level by understanding YOU ARE HERE FOR A REASON. And regardless of how bleak it gets, or how stuck you feel, or depressed you are, or how many bathrooms of the wrong gender you decide to aimlessly wander into…
Where you are NOW will prepare you for that next level.
The situation you are in right now is meant to teach you. It’s meant to strengthen you and make you a better person. It’s meant to weave your experiences into the storylines of other people who can truly benefit from your presence in their life.
In fact – I’m sure you could think of a time in your life when you’ve experienced this yourself.
If so…
Leave me a comment below (or on ANY of our social media platforms) and let us know what that circumstance was. I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback on this concept.
Let me know what you think in a comment below, and I’ll talk to you soon!
Rock on,
Kyle
P.S. One more thing…
For all of those who haven’t downloaded our single ‘My Anger’ yet (I know it’s not you, but to the person sitting next to you) PLEASE go ahead and download it now. And if you already downloaded it, feel free to send it to your friends so they can enjoy the same secret gold-mine of music that you just so happened to discover: